Stolen Goat Bodyline ONE Bib Shorts Review: The One Where Mont Can’t Bring Himself to Buy Castelli

Stolen Goat ONE bib shorts review title

This really is a review of the Stolen Goat Bodyline ONE bib shorts. You’ll have to take my word for it as I don’t appear to mention them for the first 400 words.

No matter, the (bib) short version is that they’re excellent. Comfortable, flattering, well-made and (so far) hard-wearing.

You can pick up a pair at Wiggle (affiliate link). In fact, the discount at Wiggle currently is about 41% off list price, so they’re available for less than £70 in the UK and less than $100 in the US, which is actually pretty astounding value for a high quality undercarriage garage. ** Update: It seems that whatever offer was on when I published the post has finished. They’re back to £98/$165 for all colours. Still good value – I’m still thinking of getting some with a recent birthday voucher – should have pulled my clicky-buying finger out sooner…**

The Lots Of Money = Little Bit Of Lycra Paradox

Expensive bib shorts are a hard sell. Particularly if you’re buying them ‘in the flesh’ – in the bike shop rather than via the interwebs.

Of all the cycling garments (let’s ignore toe caps and knee warmers), bib shorts are the most underwhelming when hung from a clothes hanger.

Indeed, the more expensive the short, the more inconsequential they tend to look on the merchandising rail. A bit of shrivelled lyrcra half-wrapped around an odd-shaped piece of foam.

I found this when I went into a high end bike shop (Prologue Cycling in Harrogate, in case you’re interested) in the dog days of summer 2017. A voucher (kindly given to me by my sister and her husband) was burning a hole in my saddlebag.

The voucher was for a not insubstantial amount. Indeed, the giftors had intended me to use it was a full day of physiological testing with one of the Prologue coaches at a Leeds University facility. Armed with knowledge of my fitness level, I’d be provided with a programme to do something about it.

When it became apparent that my attempts to wrangle the family calendar into allowing me to go had failed (had I put much effort in?), we agreed that I could use it instead to purchase something nice from the Prologue shop.

Now, Prologue, befitting its status as a high-end bike shop in Yorkshire’s most teflon of towns, was well-stocked with Castelli gear.

I think I had just bought my Perfetto jersey (online…), and was very much in the mood for treating my undercrackers to a Castelli-cossetting. I had play money (a play voucher) in my hand.

But did I buy some Castelli bib shorts?

Of course I did …. not.

Even with someone else’s money (sort of), it was really hard to spend well north of a hundred quid (they were closer to full retail price than, say, what Wiggle charges), when the item you’re buying resembles a deflated lycra balloon.

So I bought a power meter. Which is the start of a different story.

The Best Way To Buy (Or Receive) Cycling Shorts

The best way to get cycling shorts for free is to agree a cross-giving Christmas list with your equally velo-fancying brother-in-law.

(The next best way is to start a cycling blog and try to get cycle clothing manufacturers to pony them up for review, which has happened once).

If you’re going to spend big money of your own on a pair of shorts, I’d suggest getting them via the interwebs rather than in person.

Clearly this doesn’t work well if you want to try them on, and you actually think you’re going to be able to work out in the shop whether one bum pad or another is going to offer your ’taint more protection.

Buying online avoids pre-purchase doubts over spending quite a bit of money for quite a little of short. You can fool yourself with inspiring marketing videos and photos of the shorts being worn by the invisible man.

Stolen Goat Bodyline One Bib Shorts Lycra Cycling Shorts Blue

The post-purchase doubts, when the shorts arrive in the post, will hopefully be dispelled when you get them on and feel the benefits of a more expensive bib (maybe).

Mont, Please Start Talking About These Stolen Goat Shorts

Okay, okay. All I’m saying is that it’s great to receive a pair of bib shorts for Christmas (as part of the bike present swap strategy with my bro-in-law). And this particular Christmas (2017), the gifted bib shorts were Stolen Goats.

So what are they, and how are they different?

Well, for the most part, the Stolen Goat Bodyline ONEs are a standard pair of cycling bib shorts.

Stolen Goat ONE bib shorts review

They have a shorts bit.

They have a bib bit (the lycra straps that go over your shoulders, in order to help hold your shorts up).

They have a pad bit (to protect your undercrackers).

How Do They Look?

How cycling shorts look and how you think they look with you inside of them, is pretty subjective.

So in my subjective opinion, I think the Stolen Goats look good. The design is clean and simple. There is a nice colour detail round one of the thighs (mine is ‘Belgian blue’ – named after the breed of cow – other colours are available).

Stolen Goat ONE bibshorts front

Of key importance for any cycling short is that they don’t inadvertently reveal too much of the rider’s, er… physiology. Despite being made of a soft, lightweight and figure-hugging material, I did not feel overly-exposed when wearing them off the bike.

Please to enjoy a close up of my crotch:

Stolen Goat ONE bibshorts front close up

So that’s all good.

If you look closely at the photo above (ahem…), there is a noticeable pattern to the lycra. I don’t really know how to describe this type of lycra, so, er, here’s a photo:

Stolen Goat bib shorts fabric

The photo shows the back side of the lycra (the bit that faces the skin). You can sort of see a more subtle version of this pattern through the shorts when you’re wearing them. And I think it looks smart.

Features! Features! Features!

Talking of the ‘thigh cuff’ (I was), the inner surfaces of both the blue and the black ones have the rubbery grippy texture stuff that stops the shorts riding up your leg as you ride.

Stolen Goat bibshorts rubbery cuff

Stolen’s Goat marketing guff (or perhaps ‘gruff’) talks about the fact that the shorts only have one seam. Or ‘ONE’ seam.

It depends how you measure it. There is a seam round the chamois pad, where it’s sewn into the shorts, plus a little one up the front (from knackers to belly button, if you’re looking for GPS directions). Even with ONE and a bit seams, the rationale holds true. I have not suffered any irritation from seams whilst riding.

Apparently the shorts feature a ‘superior “dimple” chamois pad with perfect placement and antibacterial qualities’. It’s difficult to test these claims. It’s a comfortable pad. It’s a nice orange colour. It has been designed by people that clearly had a puerile sense of humour.

Stolen Goat Bodyline ONE bibshorts chamoix pad

Finally, I don’t know if this is a ‘feature’ but after quite a few washes, I can confirm that the shorts still look and feel as good as new. All shorts will wear out eventually if you’re wearing them on a regular basis, but the Stolen Goats, so far, seem well made and robust.

Wait, You Want To See More Photos Of Me Wearing The Shorts?

Why didn’t you say so earlier…

Stolen Goat ONE bibshorts side

The shorts are good but there’s only so much they can do to hold the gut in. I’ll have to work on that by other means.

Stolen Goat ONE bibshorts back

Quite flattering on the glutes though. Box ticked.

Incidentally, in these photos I am wearing my favourite short sleeved cycling jersey, a dark blue Rapha Core jersey. Another gift from my sister and brother-in-law, I really should have pulled my quill finger out and reviewed the jersey for the blog already. Quick review then: comfortable, lightweight, smart looking and flattering.

What Are The Stolen Goat Shorts Like To Ride In?

In short(s), comfortable.

I can confirm that the bright orange pad in a shall-we-say-anatomically-correct shape, has so far performed admirably in its primary function. My nethercrackers have never felt so loved.

Talking of nethercrackers, the bib on the shorts is sufficiently stretchy to allow you to pull down the front of the shorts when you need to visit the gents. No need for a full removal of everything on your top half, or to find a route to freedom down one of the legs (who does that…?).

The rubberised grippers on the inside of each thigh cuff keep the shorts in position well.

As mentioned above in the section on seams (or the relative lack of them), I haven’t encountered any irritation whilst wearing these shorts. Indeed I actually look forward to wearing them.


I really like the Stolen Goat ONE bib shorts. I regularly choose them over my other bib shorts, which include some really solid options (my Specialized RBXs, my dhb aeron shorts).

Case in point: as I write this review, I have quite a long (~90km) ride with my brother-in-law coming up this Sunday. I’ve worked my bib shorts availability schedule (yes, I have one of those…) so that my Stolen Goat ONEs will be the ones I ride with that day.

I don’t think you’d be disappointed to receive a pair, whether as a present (recommended route) or in exchange for your hard-earned cash.

Talking of which, if you do want to deploy some moolah, the Stolen Goat ONE bib shorts are available to buy from Wiggle. Treat your undercarriage to a new garage.

(As usual, the link above is an affiliate link. If you click and buy something, I might get a small commission. You pay the same price. Win win.)

With that, I’m away to prepare for this long bike ride (follow me on Strava if you want to see where I ride). So, do you own a pair of Stolen Goat shorts? If not, what shorts do you wear for riding and would you recommend them?

Let me know in the comments below.

Converting A Bike For A One-Handed Rider – A Custom-build Story

Today’s offering on the Sportive Cyclist blog is a guest post by Spike at SingleHandedCyclist.Com.

It’s a really interesting article about custom-building a bike to suit his particular requirements (in Spike’s case, that all the gears and brakes had to be operated by one hand, as you’ll see).

The post has inspired me to think about how I might customise my own bike in the future (and how I should have the confidence to give it a go). Now, over to Spike

Read moreConverting A Bike For A One-Handed Rider – A Custom-build Story

RideLondon Training Programme: Dodgy Knees and Accountability

It’s time for an update on my RideLondon preparation and my general cycling life, what with this being a cycling blog and all…

You lucky lucky people.

So what have I done?

Well, three main things:

  1. Continued rehabilitation of my knee
  2. Drafted the first cut of my RideLondon training programme
  3. Introduced some accountability into the whole RideLondon endeavour.

Let’s dive into the detail.

Read moreRideLondon Training Programme: Dodgy Knees and Accountability

Best Cycling Shorts For Sportive Riders 2018: Protecting The Undercarriage

Best Cycling Shorts For Endurance

The cyclist’s journey towards velo mastery involves progressively replacing each item of clothing in their wardrobe with the equivalent garment made out of Lycra (Spandex to our US brethren). Cycling shorts are generally first on the list.

In this post, I’ll explore the exciting world of padded gussets and elasticated waistbands, and then give a few recommended shorts for you to check out.

Read moreBest Cycling Shorts For Sportive Riders 2018: Protecting The Undercarriage

Is A Bike Fit Worth It?

Is A Bike Fit Worth It

Is a bike fit worth it, you ask? Short answer: yes. Next post please!

For the most part, we like to spend money on a bike. On bikes, plural.

We can fantasise over magazines (bike ones) beforehand, we can enjoy the buying process, we have something afterwards that we can sit and gaze at in the garage.

But when it comes to complying with a core part of my bike buying dogma, intakes of breath are sharply delivered. Penury is claimed. Exits are sharply made.

That all stops now. In this post I’m going to try to persuade you to pay for a decent bike fit.

Read moreIs A Bike Fit Worth It?

Go Hard Or Go Home // Volume Versus Training Intensity For Road Cyclists

Training volume versus intensity

If you’re a ‘time-starved’ cyclist and you want to improve your performance on the bike, it’s pretty important (dare I say it, vital) to understand the difference between training volume and intensity.

You are naturally limited in the former; you can make up for some of this limitation by manipulating the latter. Training intensity is really important for the sportive cyclist that wants to do more with less.

In this blog post we look at why and how.

How’s that for a brief introduction?

Read moreGo Hard Or Go Home // Volume Versus Training Intensity For Road Cyclists

What Is A MAMIL (And Are You One)?

What is a MAMIL

Do you like being called a MAMIL?

It’s a question I’ve been pondering lately, partly following the results of my subscriber survey and partly because I see that a new documentary on MAMILs is coming out. More on both topics later in the post.

But is the term MAMIL perjorative? (Good word…)

Offensive even?

Or something to be proud of? A tribe to identity with. A flag (stretchy, in garish colours) to rally around.

The modern MAMIL is a complex beast. And he needs analysing.

So, if you’d like to muse on the MAMIL (or perhaps find out what one is…), read on MAMIL-duff.

Read moreWhat Is A MAMIL (And Are You One)?

Using Periodisation To Build Road Cycling Fitness

Periodised cycling training

It’s pretty straightforward to find a cycling training programme on t’internet.

(You might have heard of this thing called ‘Google’?)

The thing is, whilst they’re helpful to a point, these training plans are generally designed to apply (and appeal) to a broad swathe of the Googling public. And they all seem to be 12 weeks long (I know, I generalise… some are 16 weeks long…).

Pick from ‘Beginner’, ‘Improver’ or ‘Expert’ and follow the programme (or not, as the case may be). I’m sure progress will follow.

But there’s a better way. A way of building your own training programme. One that lasts longer than 12 weeks.

Let’s talk periodisation.

And let’s try not to fall asleep.

Read moreUsing Periodisation To Build Road Cycling Fitness

Riding A Century Sportive In 2018 (I Got A Place In The RideLondon 100 Ballot!)

Riding a Century Sportive in 2018

Well it looks like I’m riding 100 miles this summer.

It had to happen eventually. After 6 attempts, I’ve finally won a place in the RideLondon 100 ballot.

And gosh darn it I’m going to ride it.

In fact I’m not just going to ride it, I’m going to train for it.

Read moreRiding A Century Sportive In 2018 (I Got A Place In The RideLondon 100 Ballot!)