Boom! I’m Back (Plus The Best Of Sportive Cyclist 2014)

It’s been rather quiet of late on this here website.

Tumbleweed blows through the deserted Sportive Cyclist streets.

Cobwebs have gathered between my typing fingertips.

Mould is threatening to bloom upon my padded gusset (too much?).



(Oh right, you didn’t notice I’d been away? Fine…)

Read moreBoom! I’m Back (Plus The Best Of Sportive Cyclist 2014)

The Sportive Cyclist Mission Statement (Ground Control To Major Mont)

Look out! I’m about to get all existential on yo’ ass.

In today’s post I’m going to talk about why I’m here.

Not here as in ‘on this earth’ (answer: happy accident).

Here as in why I’m here, coming into your eyes, via the medium of the internets:

  • Why I write the shizzle I do (and why I feel the need to share it).
  • What Sportive Cyclist stands for.
  • What this means for you (and your bike).

[Mounts soap box] “Hear ye! Hear ye! Silence you ‘orrible lot!”

Read moreThe Sportive Cyclist Mission Statement (Ground Control To Major Mont)

Grimpeur Goes On Tour [Sadly Not Cycling]

Sportive cycling excusesThis week’s post on Sportive Cyclist isn’t actually here. Sorry about that.

But worry ye not. I have still been a-writing and a-posting.

This week I have been preaching to the cyclists of London, via their most august of internet cycling institutions,

The post, which is one of my ‘amusing’ creations, is entitled “Five Terrible Excuses For Not Riding Your First Sportive in 2014 (Resistance Is Futile!)” and you can read it in all its glory by following the link at the end of this post.

Before you do that though, I wanted to let you know about a few things coming up on this blog.

Read moreGrimpeur Goes On Tour [Sadly Not Cycling]

Just Let Me Get Out Of The Fugging House: A Rant

Before anyone gets worried, I should probably say that I am not currently being held in my house against my will.

Rather I wish to rant (yes, rant) about the feeling you get, as a cyclist, when you’re all set to ride, you’re suited and booted, your leg is cocked and then… you realise that you’ve not got [your phone / your emergency funds / your Kendal (bloody) Mint Cake – delete as applicable].

Read moreJust Let Me Get Out Of The Fugging House: A Rant

Crowdsourcing My Cycling Christmas List

I have decided that today you are going to help me out.

What right do I have to do that? Well, it’s my blog and I’m an aspiring megalomaniac.

But luckily, by helping me, you will in fact be helping yourselves.

You help me help you.

We all help together.

[Stop blathering Montgomery. What are you going on about?]

Today’s discussion: Christmas presents for cyclists.

Read moreCrowdsourcing My Cycling Christmas List

How I Watch The Tour de France

Despite being a keen follower of pro-cycling, I try not to mention it too much on this blog. Sportive Cyclist is for recreational road cyclists that want to put their rump on the saddle, not the sofa. Other blogs cover the pro-cycling scene in far more depth (and far more coherently) than I ever could.

But with less than 48 hours to this year’s grand depart, it seems remiss not to at least mention the Tour de France.

Rather than talk about the route, the riders and the hotly-anticipated Promenade des Anglais*, I thought I would summarise the ‘resources’** I use to maximise my enjoyment of the event, some of which you might find interesting.

* Note 1: This is a very sophisticated, multi-level bon mot that I have stolen unashamedly from

** Note 2: ‘Resources’ being websites and twitter feeds, rather than le dopage.

Read moreHow I Watch The Tour de France

If you only read one cycling post today: my top 6 beautiful bike-related websites

Cycling is a many varied and wonderful thing. Today’s post aims to introduce you to some of the great bike-related blogs and websites that I peruse on a regular basis.

I know. Some of you read my cycling blog because you know me and you want to find out what I’m up to. You may only have a passing interest in cycling or perhaps no interest at all. This post is for you as well.

Maybe you are more interested in design or photography or beautiful clothing. If you are, then take a look below.

Read moreIf you only read one cycling post today: my top 6 beautiful bike-related websites