Stolen Goat Bodyline ONE Bib Shorts Review: The One Where Mont Can’t Bring Himself to Buy Castelli

Stolen Goat ONE bib shorts review title

This really is a review of the Stolen Goat Bodyline ONE bib shorts. You’ll have to take my word for it as I don’t appear to mention them for the first 400 words.

No matter, the (bib) short version is that they’re excellent. Comfortable, flattering, well-made and (so far) hard-wearing.

You can pick up a pair at Wiggle (affiliate link). In fact, the discount at Wiggle currently is about 41% off list price, so they’re available for less than £70 in the UK and less than $100 in the US, which is actually pretty astounding value for a high quality undercarriage garage. ** Update: It seems that whatever offer was on when I published the post has finished. They’re back to £98/$165 for all colours. Still good value – I’m still thinking of getting some with a recent birthday voucher – should have pulled my clicky-buying finger out sooner…**

The Lots Of Money = Little Bit Of Lycra Paradox

Expensive bib shorts are a hard sell. Particularly if you’re buying them ‘in the flesh’ – in the bike shop rather than via the interwebs.

Of all the cycling garments (let’s ignore toe caps and knee warmers), bib shorts are the most underwhelming when hung from a clothes hanger.

Indeed, the more expensive the short, the more inconsequential they tend to look on the merchandising rail. A bit of shrivelled lyrcra half-wrapped around an odd-shaped piece of foam.

I found this when I went into a high end bike shop (Prologue Cycling in Harrogate, in case you’re interested) in the dog days of summer 2017. A voucher (kindly given to me by my sister and her husband) was burning a hole in my saddlebag.

The voucher was for a not insubstantial amount. Indeed, the giftors had intended me to use it was a full day of physiological testing with one of the Prologue coaches at a Leeds University facility. Armed with knowledge of my fitness level, I’d be provided with a programme to do something about it.

When it became apparent that my attempts to wrangle the family calendar into allowing me to go had failed (had I put much effort in?), we agreed that I could use it instead to purchase something nice from the Prologue shop.

Now, Prologue, befitting its status as a high-end bike shop in Yorkshire’s most teflon of towns, was well-stocked with Castelli gear.

I think I had just bought my Perfetto jersey (online…), and was very much in the mood for treating my undercrackers to a Castelli-cossetting. I had play money (a play voucher) in my hand.

But did I buy some Castelli bib shorts?

Of course I did …. not.

Even with someone else’s money (sort of), it was really hard to spend well north of a hundred quid (they were closer to full retail price than, say, what Wiggle charges), when the item you’re buying resembles a deflated lycra balloon.

So I bought a power meter. Which is the start of a different story.

The Best Way To Buy (Or Receive) Cycling Shorts

The best way to get cycling shorts for free is to agree a cross-giving Christmas list with your equally velo-fancying brother-in-law.

(The next best way is to start a cycling blog and try to get cycle clothing manufacturers to pony them up for review, which has happened once).

If you’re going to spend big money of your own on a pair of shorts, I’d suggest getting them via the interwebs rather than in person.

Clearly this doesn’t work well if you want to try them on, and you actually think you’re going to be able to work out in the shop whether one bum pad or another is going to offer your ’taint more protection.

Buying online avoids pre-purchase doubts over spending quite a bit of money for quite a little of short. You can fool yourself with inspiring marketing videos and photos of the shorts being worn by the invisible man.

Stolen Goat Bodyline One Bib Shorts Lycra Cycling Shorts Blue

The post-purchase doubts, when the shorts arrive in the post, will hopefully be dispelled when you get them on and feel the benefits of a more expensive bib (maybe).

Mont, Please Start Talking About These Stolen Goat Shorts

Okay, okay. All I’m saying is that it’s great to receive a pair of bib shorts for Christmas (as part of the bike present swap strategy with my bro-in-law). And this particular Christmas (2017), the gifted bib shorts were Stolen Goats.

So what are they, and how are they different?

Well, for the most part, the Stolen Goat Bodyline ONEs are a standard pair of cycling bib shorts.

Stolen Goat ONE bib shorts review

They have a shorts bit.

They have a bib bit (the lycra straps that go over your shoulders, in order to help hold your shorts up).

They have a pad bit (to protect your undercrackers).

How Do They Look?

How cycling shorts look and how you think they look with you inside of them, is pretty subjective.

So in my subjective opinion, I think the Stolen Goats look good. The design is clean and simple. There is a nice colour detail round one of the thighs (mine is ‘Belgian blue’ – named after the breed of cow – other colours are available).

Stolen Goat ONE bibshorts front

Of key importance for any cycling short is that they don’t inadvertently reveal too much of the rider’s, er… physiology. Despite being made of a soft, lightweight and figure-hugging material, I did not feel overly-exposed when wearing them off the bike.

Please to enjoy a close up of my crotch:

Stolen Goat ONE bibshorts front close up

So that’s all good.

If you look closely at the photo above (ahem…), there is a noticeable pattern to the lycra. I don’t really know how to describe this type of lycra, so, er, here’s a photo:

Stolen Goat bib shorts fabric

The photo shows the back side of the lycra (the bit that faces the skin). You can sort of see a more subtle version of this pattern through the shorts when you’re wearing them. And I think it looks smart.

Features! Features! Features!

Talking of the ‘thigh cuff’ (I was), the inner surfaces of both the blue and the black ones have the rubbery grippy texture stuff that stops the shorts riding up your leg as you ride.

Stolen Goat bibshorts rubbery cuff

Stolen’s Goat marketing guff (or perhaps ‘gruff’) talks about the fact that the shorts only have one seam. Or ‘ONE’ seam.

It depends how you measure it. There is a seam round the chamois pad, where it’s sewn into the shorts, plus a little one up the front (from knackers to belly button, if you’re looking for GPS directions). Even with ONE and a bit seams, the rationale holds true. I have not suffered any irritation from seams whilst riding.

Apparently the shorts feature a ‘superior “dimple” chamois pad with perfect placement and antibacterial qualities’. It’s difficult to test these claims. It’s a comfortable pad. It’s a nice orange colour. It has been designed by people that clearly had a puerile sense of humour.

Stolen Goat Bodyline ONE bibshorts chamoix pad

Finally, I don’t know if this is a ‘feature’ but after quite a few washes, I can confirm that the shorts still look and feel as good as new. All shorts will wear out eventually if you’re wearing them on a regular basis, but the Stolen Goats, so far, seem well made and robust.

Wait, You Want To See More Photos Of Me Wearing The Shorts?

Why didn’t you say so earlier…

Stolen Goat ONE bibshorts side

The shorts are good but there’s only so much they can do to hold the gut in. I’ll have to work on that by other means.

Stolen Goat ONE bibshorts back

Quite flattering on the glutes though. Box ticked.

Incidentally, in these photos I am wearing my favourite short sleeved cycling jersey, a dark blue Rapha Core jersey. Another gift from my sister and brother-in-law, I really should have pulled my quill finger out and reviewed the jersey for the blog already. Quick review then: comfortable, lightweight, smart looking and flattering.

What Are The Stolen Goat Shorts Like To Ride In?

In short(s), comfortable.

I can confirm that the bright orange pad in a shall-we-say-anatomically-correct shape, has so far performed admirably in its primary function. My nethercrackers have never felt so loved.

Talking of nethercrackers, the bib on the shorts is sufficiently stretchy to allow you to pull down the front of the shorts when you need to visit the gents. No need for a full removal of everything on your top half, or to find a route to freedom down one of the legs (who does that…?).

The rubberised grippers on the inside of each thigh cuff keep the shorts in position well.

As mentioned above in the section on seams (or the relative lack of them), I haven’t encountered any irritation whilst wearing these shorts. Indeed I actually look forward to wearing them.

Conclusion

I really like the Stolen Goat ONE bib shorts. I regularly choose them over my other bib shorts, which include some really solid options (my Specialized RBXs, my dhb aeron shorts).

Case in point: as I write this review, I have quite a long (~90km) ride with my brother-in-law coming up this Sunday. I’ve worked my bib shorts availability schedule (yes, I have one of those…) so that my Stolen Goat ONEs will be the ones I ride with that day.

I don’t think you’d be disappointed to receive a pair, whether as a present (recommended route) or in exchange for your hard-earned cash.

Talking of which, if you do want to deploy some moolah, the Stolen Goat ONE bib shorts are available to buy from Wiggle. Treat your undercarriage to a new garage.

(As usual, the link above is an affiliate link. If you click and buy something, I might get a small commission. You pay the same price. Win win.)

With that, I’m away to prepare for this long bike ride (follow me on Strava if you want to see where I ride). So, do you own a pair of Stolen Goat shorts? If not, what shorts do you wear for riding and would you recommend them?

Let me know in the comments below.

Best Cycling Shorts For Sportive Riders 2018: Protecting The Undercarriage

Best Cycling Shorts For Endurance

The cyclist’s journey towards velo mastery involves progressively replacing each item of clothing in their wardrobe with the equivalent garment made out of Lycra (Spandex to our US brethren). Cycling shorts are generally first on the list.

In this post, I’ll explore the exciting world of padded gussets and elasticated waistbands, and then give a few recommended shorts for you to check out.

Read moreBest Cycling Shorts For Sportive Riders 2018: Protecting The Undercarriage

Wearing Prescripton Glasses Whilst Cycling (And What About Varifocals?)

Cycling with prescription glasses

I was emailed recently by a Sportive Cyclist reader (the other one that’s not my mum), who rightly noted that I wear glasses.

Alan (for that ‘twas… ‘twis his name) then went on to supply some very helpful tips around cycling with varifocal lenses. I’ll share these later on in this post.

First though, since my glasses involve bog standard (albeit unusually prescriptioned) lenses, I thought I’d write more generally about cycling whilst wearing bins.

It’s at this point, I can offer the non-spectacle wearers amongst you to stand down. There’s nothing here to see (although if there was, presumably you’d see it very clearly indeed).

Read moreWearing Prescripton Glasses Whilst Cycling (And What About Varifocals?)

Castelli Perfetto Long Sleeve Jersey Review (The Jersey Formerly Known As Gabba)

Long time readers of this blog will know that I’ve had an unhealthy obsession with a certain piece of cycling clothing for an irrational number of years. Over that time I’ve done precisely nothing about it (er, like buying it).

Well now I’ve finally done something about it.

I’ve bought … a different piece of cycling clothing. And this is my review.

Heretofollows my thoughts on the Castelli Perfetto foul weather jersey.

Read moreCastelli Perfetto Long Sleeve Jersey Review (The Jersey Formerly Known As Gabba)

Guide To Cycling Leg Warmers (And A Review Of My GripGrabs)

I’ve had something of a revelation. And it involves skin tight black stockings. Or ‘leg warmers’ as they seem to be called in cyclo-world.

The updating of my guide to cycling tights (never a more exciting post written) coincided with this year’s Black Friday sales.

Whilst perusing the Wiggle site, I saw that these leg warmers from GripGrab were available in the sale. So I plunged. And I also bought a pair of leg warmers.

Here are my (somewhat revelatory) thoughts.

Selected Products Mentioned In This Post

Read moreGuide To Cycling Leg Warmers (And A Review Of My GripGrabs)

The Sportiveur’s Guide To Winter Cycling Tights

Sportive Cyclist guide to winter cycling tights

For a long time, when I saw pro riders (or those who wanted to look like pro riders) training in cold weather, I assumed they were wearing tights underneath their cycling shorts.

It took me an awfully long time (too long) to realise that this wasn’t the case (I hope it wasn’t the case) and they were most likely wearing knee or leg warmers.

The aim of this post is shed a little light on the subject of winter cycling tights. I doubt that too much light is required, for it is hardly a challenging subject.

Still, despite October’s best efforts to remain mild, colder temperatures are upon us. A vital aspect of enjoying your cycling during the winter months is to ensure you’re adequately attired. Cycling tights should be an important part of the your adequate attire.

Read moreThe Sportiveur’s Guide To Winter Cycling Tights

Whose Coat Is That Jacket: Best Winter Jackets For Road Cyclists 2017

Best Winter Jacket For Road Cyclists

Hmm. If I had any sense, I’d have published this post some time ago, giving you time to study it (yes, study it) and invest (yes, invest) in a winter jacket ahead of the actual, you know, winter.

But I don’t have any sense.

And to be honest, I’m struggling, based on recent weather here in the soon-to-be-set-continentally-adrift UK, to decide what season it is. So let’s just assume it’s winter jacket buying season.

Let’s further assume that you have 10 minutes (5 minutes…. [small voice] 2… minutes [/small voice]) to read my ill-informed drivel ‘pon the subject.

And let’s assume that your time…. starts…. NOW!

Read moreWhose Coat Is That Jacket: Best Winter Jackets For Road Cyclists 2017

What Should I Wear On RideLondon (And Other Questions)?

The RideLondon 100 (and its new 46 sibling) is an unusual sportive. Due to its size and location, it presents logistical challenges for riders and organisers alike. On the participant side, it’s not just a case of rocking up with a car boot (trunk) full of kit and a few gels in your pocket and knocking out a cheeky century.

It’s therefore entirely reasonable that first-time participants have questions, not all of which are answered in the organiser’s bumf.

Here are some questions sent in by reader, Ian, which I will attempt to answer. Can I also ask the Sportive Cyclist hive mind (particularly those of you that have RiddenLondon already), to chime in with your views. Every little helps….

So, those questions….

Read moreWhat Should I Wear On RideLondon (And Other Questions)?

Kask Vertigo 2.0 Road Helmet Review: Putting A Lid On It

I am thinking about helmets.

Specifically the Kask Vertigo 2.0 which is my new piece of head protection de jour.

I’ve been using it for about a couple of months now (since Christmas) and here are my initial thoughts (for what they’re worth…).

A helmet is a very personal thing (ne’er a truer word spoke). On the basis that all established manufacturers adhere to the required safety standards, I reckon most people’s selection criteria is weighted heavily towards how they think they look whilst wearing it*. Which only you can decide.

(*Unless you’re a time trialist, looking to eke out every last aerodynamic benefit, and thus buy one of those daft tear drop shaped affairs.)

Still, in this post I’ll give a brief overview of how I am finding the Kask Vertigo helmet and summarise its features, in the hope that this might be helpful as you make any helmet-buying decisions in the future.

Read moreKask Vertigo 2.0 Road Helmet Review: Putting A Lid On It

What Should You Wear When Road Cycling In The Winter

I’ll try to answer this without simply presenting a bland list of clothing items…. fully expecting that it will turn into a bland list of clothing items.

Cycling outside in the winter is difficult for all manner of reasons.

It’s cold. It’s more likely to be wet. It’s more likely to be windy.

‘Nice’ winter weather presents its own challenges. A beautiful clear morning tends to go hand in hand with frost and ice. Ah, the frustration of wanting to enjoy the early morning light over a white-crusted country landscape, but knowing that you’re one false pedal stroke away from an ignominious pratfall and a broken collarbone.

And then we have snow.

(Not this type of Snow. Or this one.)

The window of cycling opportunity therefore tends to be a small one. A small one with a broken latch.

So you want to have a tried and tested winter wardrobe, ready and waiting for when the opportunity presents itself.

And so I’m going to share what I wore on a recent winter’s ride, to help illuminate the issue at hand (and to present you with a bland list of clothing items).

Onward!

Read moreWhat Should You Wear When Road Cycling In The Winter