So here’s the plan.
Majorca, road bikes, beers, hookers.
[record scratch]
Majorca, road bikes, beers, enjoyment, exhaustion.
The ultimate Majorca trip for MAMILs.
Focused. In and out. 5 days. Let’s go.
Now Majorca is not new to me. I’ve been many times.
I’ve cycled there twice, both times shoe-horned into a family summer holiday.
This time it’s a dedicated trip.
With a group of friends to celebrate a big birthday (not mine).
In April, not July. Prime cycling season.
It’s all about the bike… and a little bit about the beers.
So here are 11 things I learnt on my first proper cycling trip abroad.
And as a Brucie bonus, at the end of this post, I’ll give you the optimal – yes optimal – 4-day ride plan if you base yourself in Puerto Pollensa.
Now, please to enjoy some wild gushing about tarmac and climbs you’ve already heard of.
Majorca is NOT too busy with cyclists
Let’s get this out of the way. We went in peak cycling season. There were loads of other cyclists. We had an amazing time.
Majorca is not too busy with cyclists.
I had plenty of moments alone with my thoughts, climbing and descending on some of the island’s most famous routes.
Obviously there are muchos veloistas. This is not an undiscovered gem. But this means that everywhere you go, it’s set up for cyclists. Secure storage at hotels, racks outside every restaurant, multifarious bike hire options.
You’re in the minority if you’re not wearing lycra in a lift.
So save worrying about there being too many cyclists for your tenth trip.
Remember, too many ski-ists doesn’t stop people going to the Alps each winter.
The Weather Makes a BIG Difference
No shit Shergar.
But having ridden Sa Calobra and Col de Femenia, both long and exposed climbs, in high summer, I recommend doing them at the end of April with temperatures in the low twenties and the potential for a cooling breeze.
And having bonked on the SaC, if you will, last time round, it’s no joke.
Late April / early May hits the sweetspot: nice enough for outside eating and post-ride dips in the pool but with a lower risk of intra-climb meltdown.
Also, whilst not directly weather related, there were fewer Calobra coaches to avoid. Which is nice.
So there you go, profound. Youfluber explains that the Majorca cycling peak season takes place at the time when the weather is optimal.
Treat Yourself To An Upgrade
You all probably have nice bikes at home, but I am a tight arse and Bianchi haven’t seen fit to send over a bike, despite me repping their brand.
So a cycling trip is time to try something a bit better.
For me that was a bump to humble 105 Di2 electronic gears, which I loved. For you that might be a Dura-Ace superbike with spanky wheels.
Either way, a trip is a cost effective way to road test some spec ahead of your next N+1.
For those that care, the majority of our group rode Giant TCRs.
It’s not a flashy bike but I liked the classic look. It was comfortable and, importantly for los incompetentes, stable when descending.
I was impressed…. a statement that won’t help my cause with Bianchi.
You Should Take An Action Camera
Important Note: This section is sponsored by Insta360
Ok, you do you, but with cameras like the GO Ultra and X5 from Insta360 it’s getting easier and less intrusive to capture clips over the course of my trip, and then use the phone app to make a *fascinating* video to share with my loved ones.
My family wanted to see it as well.
Insta360 were kind enough to send me the cameras to document my Mallorcan endeavours.
Both devices, basically in auto mode, capture amazing quality 4K footage with minimal effort on the part of the operator.
The fancy internal gubbins – upgraded sensors and AI imaging chips – laughed in the face of bright Mallorcan sun and disappointingly infrequent moments of shade.
Footage is super smooth, whether on smooth Balearic butter or the gravel tracks (*A roads) of Derbyshire.
The GO Ultra is tiny, weighing just 53g. It can be mounted pretty much anywhere around your bike or person.
(BTW I wrote this post on my experiences using the GO Ultra)
I went mainly with the magnetic lanyard chest mount for exciting first person action shots. An angle that also takes advantage of the super wide 156° field of view.
The modest size makes it great for capturing footage without screaming, “I’m a social media effluencer”.
The X5 films a full 360 degree view, using two lenses, and you select your shots in post. As we Tarantinos call it.
Sometimes I’ll get creative, attaching the X5 to a magic disappearing selfie stick and flailing it like an Anglo-Saxon spearman – also my bedroom nickname.
For this trip, to keep it simple, I alternated between mounting the X5 at the front and rear of the bike, and clicked record whenever I was somewhere beautiful. So the challenge was not perma-filming.
Later, in my post-holiday glow, I went through the X5 footage and framed the shots with which to build my YouTube memory palace. All in glorious crispy high def.
Thanks to Insta360 for sponsoring this section post. Here are the links in case you want to buy one:
Half Board For The Win
Good grief. We’re back to the banality. But for those wanting this advice box ticked, here’s the hot take.
Estaba muy feliz going hotel over self catering. No faff making food and clearing up afterwards.
Half board, as opposed to full, meant loads of breakfast options and guaranteed food in the evening without any restaurant selection debates, but with the flexibility to choose a lunch venue to suit our riding plans.
Sure, the evening food wasn’t quite as nice. But let’s face it, I was fugged and would have eaten my cycling shoes if the chef had given them 30 seconds in the microwave (meecro-waavay).
Our hotel, the Cabot Pollensa Park Spa was velo-friendly with plenty of secure storage and a laissez faire approach to bikes in rooms for those that could be harrised.
A few too many guests were giving triathlon vibes but you can’t have it all.
Theres No Shame Using A Cycling Travel Company
Yes, you can definitely organise the different elements separately, probably for cheaper. It’s really just a hotel, airport transfer and bike rental.
But if it’s your first time going to the area, and your busy real life affords little free headspace to become an amateur tour operator for your mates, pay the premium and use a specialist company.
Next time round, with a bit more experience and confidence, organise it all separately.
And you can come back and tell us if you do actually save any money in practice.
Mallorca Is Not Just Full of Cycling Young Folk
YouTube tells us, each March and April, that Mallorca is for lithe young influencers or semi-pros doing the 312.
I can confirm that in reality there are plenty of duffers, young and old, big and small. I generously allowed nine of them to come with me on the trip.
So don’t let the more recent Insta-image psyche you out. Let’s represent the velo-underclasses together.
You Can Do The Big Climbs On Not Too Much Training
Strictly speaking I have evidence that Sa Calobra can be conquered by someone that did 4 road rides and the odd jog in the preceding 4 months. He may be a slight anomaly.
But you don’t need to do crazy amounts of training and attain Pidcockian levels of fitness. I did most of my prep indoors with 30-60 minute sessions on Zwift.
When it comes to the sustained climbing, first make sure the bike you hire has the gearing you need, particularly if you’re a spinner.
Ensure you’re fully fuelled and moistened, and keep topping up as the ride goes on.
Load the route to your Gar-hoo-head. I like to see the climb on my bike computer, so I know what’s coming. No shade if you prefer blissful ignorance.
Then, to use the parlance of the day, lock in, go at your own comfortable pace and focus on ticking off each hairpin as it comes.
And if you follow this advice, you too might achieve a distinctly unimpressive 59 minutes up Sa Calobra. But at least I didn’t stop. Or hit this goat.
The Coffee At The Repsol Is Surprisingly Good Value
There’s not much more to say than that.
They could use their unique location to fleece the desperate hordes.
Instead they charge €1.50 for a cortado and maintain a clean set of toilets.
And despite appearing mobbed, getting a table seems reasonably easy.
You won’t be able to avoid paying the Repsol a visit, so this is hardly a recco. But I’m here to tell you it’s a surprisingly ok experience. Try the Aquarius.
Descending is Great Fun But Beware of Overtaking Cars
Pubic safety announcement: cycling at speed on twisty roads can be dangerous.
The majority of drivers seemed pretty tolerant, given the humunculous number of cyclistas.
But particularly on the MA-10 stretch between the Repsol and the Sa Calobra turnoff, there are no easy overtakes and the road is up and down like your mum’s pants.
I’ve seen impatience take hold and cars just going for it.
So you might want to save your pro descending for quieter roads – the Femenia down to Pollensa is a good one – but still you should assume there is a hazard to avoid around every turn.
PSA over.
Don’t Take a Wrong Turn Coming Down Sa Calobra
So this was a new one on me.
As you descend into Sa Calobra there is a left turn 2km before you get to the bottom.
When me and a couple of my compadres got there, we had to stop at a temporary barrier whilst several buses came up the road. We waited 30 seconds and the high vis chap waved us through.
Another of our number, actually the first one down, wasn’t so lucky.
He thought he was being directed down the left turn, which he assumed was some sort of one way loop down to Sa Calobra.
Reader it was not a road down to Sa Calobra.
Instead he found himself in another bay, Cala Tuent, some 6km away.
Which meant he missed our pre-climb carb-load-cum-panic-attack, did an extra 80-odd metres of unnecessary up and down, and didn’t actually record a Coll dels Reis time on Strava.
Which, according to Schrodinger, means he didn’t go to Mallorca.
So don’t take a wrong turn coming down towards Sa Calobra.
And yes, there is a one way loop at the bottom, very much in the village. This is not that.
The Optimal Four Day Mallorca Cycling Plan (If You’re Staying Near Puerto Pollensa)
And finally, as promised, here is the ultimate itinerary for 4 days riding in Majorca, assuming you’re staying in Puerto Pollensa or nearby.
Clearly ‘ultimate’ is doing a job of work in that sentence.
But it’s what we did, more or less, and we all came away satisfied … and slightly broken. It’s a good starting point for your planning.
Feel free to give any views or suggestions in the comments.
Day 1
Day 1 starts assuming you’ve taken an early flight from your home airport of choice.
By the time you’ve got to the hotel and picked up a rental bike it will be early afternoon.
Have a nice lunch on the sea front in Puerto Pollensa.
Then it’s the Formentor lighthouse ride. About 40km with 800m climbing. There’s no rush because it’ll be quieter later.
If you set off about 3, you’ll be back with time for a beer before dinner.
Day 2
Day 2 is Sa Calobra day.
Take the Sa Battalla climb up to the Repsol because it’s the kinder ascent.
There’s only one route from the Repsol to Sa Calobra and you’re about the take it.
On your return, take the Femenia back down. It’s a great, quiet descent.
Find someone with a large diesel engine to pull you back to Pollensa and you’ll probably record your fastest ever 20km on Strava.
Day 3
Day 3 should be a flatter route focused on the rolling country lanes.
I’m not sure we got this one absolutely right. If, like us, you go through built up Caan Picafort, set off earlier to avoid all these cars.
We had a nice stop in Muro but we seemed to spend more time than I wanted on main roads, even if they were generally quiet.
A few tweaks and this would have been the perfect recovery day ride.
Day 4
Final day depends a little on how much energy is left in the tank, but should ideally involve the Puig Major. And no, it’s not pig or pweeg.
If you’ve got the gumption, do it as a loop to Soller. We didn’t so just did an out and back.
We took the direct route up the Femenia to start the day.
Another pitstop at Repsol, kwell surprise, then a straight cruise up the MA-10 til the mouth of the tunnel at the very top.
About face, money shots at the Gorg Blau reservoir, quick descent down the Femenia again, then chain gang to Pollensa-not-the-port for a celebratory lunch in the square.
And we can also celebrate the end of this post.
Any Mallorca tips, drop them in comments.
I’ll see you in the next one.
